How to eat cheese

By Serge Kreutz

I love cheese. If I would have to decide on the 100 most exciting tastes (except those sexual) I have experienced in my life, cheeses would probably occupy more than 50 positions. Gorgonzola, Stilton, Camembert.

Cheese tastes absolutely great. A bite of cheese, then the mouth washed with some red wine, then a green olive, then cheese again. How food can excite the taste buds!

Yes, the taste buds. Not the esophagus, not the stomach, not the lining of the intestines, and not the anus.

Cheese and red wine are great in the mouth, but both are not really fit for full digestion.

Alcohol is a disturbance for the brain, and an unnecessary burden for the liver. I am opposed to any alcohol in my bloodstream.

Cheese is not quite as bad. But any protein-based food cured and processed long will undergo chemical changes that will likely render it inferior to fresh protein-based food.

In cheese, it’s the tyramine.

The tyramine in cheese definitely triggers migraine headaches in me, and even when I don’t end up with a full-blown headache, the digestion of cheese results in sub-optimal mental alertness and a general state of not feeling totally healthy.

With most cheeses, I have serious doubts as to whether they are fit for the human digestion.

On the other hand, I consume cheese almost every day.

How is that?

It’s the Serge Kreutz diet.

I put the cheese in my mouth, and love it.

I just don’t swallow it.

As for cheese, my principle is: spit it, don’t shit it.

Observe yourself when eating some cheese. For example a Danish Blue.

Put it in your mouth, just the cheese, without bread.

It will have a strong effect on your taste buds.

Then move it to every corner of your mouth. You will notice that wherever the cheese first comes in contact with your taste buds, there is a strong sensation.

Then the sensation subsides. Enzymatic processes initiated by saliva totally destroy the cheese. I will turn it into a creamy and rather tasteless fluid.

So, why should you swallow this partially digested mess?

Not for the nutrients. Denatured proteins, cholesterol-heavy fats, and harmful chemical substances like tyramine.

Just have a container ready and spit it out. Then rinse your mouth with some red wine. You spit this out, too.

Now you can take a bite of food you actually will swallow. An olive, a slice of tomato, a bite of bread (if you have a good tolerance for gluten).

And now you are ready for the next cycle that starts with a bite of cheese.

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